circus train

have u ever worried your anxiety is performative...a paradox of anxiousness...all a big act...a perpetual loop...am i worse than a man...?

it feels like a spectacle 

some flailing performance 

grasping at straws 

while gasping for air 

- always neglecting your hay fever 

juggling flame is 

much less impressive 

when no one else can see it

when the heat is imaginary 

frantic arms

unbridled by a false perception 

signal an urgent distress

you beg to be treated

for a bloodless truth

is there a medic on this train?

this fear is fabricated 

this pain is counterfeit 

yet the hysteria is real 

the delusion, authentic 

that's the part everyone can see 

- no magician’s trick to be revealed 

it’s too obvious 

it's two ladies all along 

deep down

you know that 

you will not be sawed in half 

but it feels good to make people wonder 

so convince them - sell it 

put some panic in your eyes