jian camille

have u ever worried your anxiety is performative...a paradox of anxiousness...all a big act...a perpetual loop...am i worse than a man...? it feels like a spectacle  some flailing performance  grasping at straws  while gasping for air  - always neglecting your hay fever  juggling flame is  much less impressive  when no one else can see it when the heat is imaginary  frantic arms unbridled by a false perception  signal an urgent distress you beg to be treated for a bloodless truth is there a...

no better  to know better  the go getter  that's how it goes  too heavy  I want you to move with me  I want you to die pretty  I want you with no pity  I don't want to go there  but it's not you who's on your own now  turpentine two - we've got a motive  if I were you I'd keep it loaded  so ugly  there's no one to know but me  there's nowhere to go trust me  there's no place to die  my angel  wearing your tights ankled  cause your hands are tied  shamefully toeing the line  I don't want to go...

I wrote this poem months ago about censorship, and it feels like an important time to revisit it. I've been engaging with a lot of anti-ICE content, and my socials have started glitching. Videos will stop halfway through or just not play at all. I don't think this is a coincidence. People are using AI to edit victims' faces, making them look messier and scarier. Videos sharing the violent, racist, and exponential chaos in the states are being taken down or altered. There is a major difference...